Hey, Teen Bridesmaid

By Pat Esden

Being asked to serve as a bridesmaid is a great honor, but it is also a responsibly that shouldn’t be taken lightly, especially by younger teens.

The financial responsibility can be particularly difficult for a young teen. Unless the teen has an income, a parent will have to pay for items associated with being a bridesmaid including the bridesmaid dress, new underclothes, shoes, gifts for the shower and wedding, transportation to the wedding . . . and, if the wedding’s out of town, perhaps even a hotel room. If the teen doesn’t have a driver’s license and a car, then a parent may have to drive the teen to attend pre-wedding planning sessions, dress fittings, showers and rehearsals. For these reasons and others it is important that a young teen consult their parents before accepting the honor of being a bridesmaid. Even if parents agree, a teen should be one hundred percent sure they want to be a bridesmaid or should graciously decline the invitation. It’s better to say no when first asked than back out after the dress is ordered.

Once a young teen has agreed to serve as a bridesmaid, a great next step is to search on the internet for a list of bridesmaid duties, choose a couple that are appealing and suitable, then volunteer to do them.

Often times a bride gets caught up in the hustle and bustle of wedding planning and may forget to directly ask the bridesmaids to help—or may feel uncomfortable telling people what she needs help with. So, if a young teen is specific about what they would like to do and are capable of doing it will be a great relief to the bride.

There are many prewedding duties that are suitable for young teens, such as volunteering to address wedding invitations and stuff them into envelopes, helping make favors and baskets for out of town guests. Asking the maid of honor if she needs help with the shower or anything else is not only polite, it is expected.

A young teen should go with the rest of the bridesmaids when the dresses are chosen—this is one of the high points of being a bridesmaid, as is choosing hairstyles and shoes. Some brides allow the bridesmaids to help choose dress colors and style, some do not. The important thing for a young teen to remember is to tactfully speak up if the dress style makes you uncomfortable or does not fit well, but remember color and style are ultimately up to the bride. Resist any urge to argue. This is the bride’s day not yours.

As the wedding day approaches, a young teen needs to pick her dress up from the bridal shop in time to have it altered if necessary. She should try the dress on with the underwear she intends to wear on the wedding day and make sure it doesn’t show.

Pick up several pairs of pantyhose that work with the dress and tuck an emergency pair in a formal bag that matches the bridesmaid dress. Shoes should be tried on and stretched. Practice walking in them. These all seem like common sense, but everything a young bridesmaid can do to prepare herself ahead of time will eliminate stress on the wedding day, so all the attention can focus on the bride instead of a bridesmaid’s last minute dilemma.

Generally, young bridesmaids are invited to the bridal shower, but a young teen should not feel slighted if she isn’t invited to the bachelorette party. Often bachelorette parties involve drinking and older guys. The last thing the bride needs is to have a bridesmaid get in trouble for underage drinking or caught in a comprising position with a guy. If a teen is invited to a bachelorette party, resist temptation and stick to the no drinking alcohol and no flirting with older guys rule. These rules also apply at the rehearsal dinner, during the ceremony and the reception, all of which a teen bridesmaid will be attending.

During the rehearsal, listen to all the instructions—this will make the wedding day much less stressful. On the wedding day, a teen bridesmaid should focus on making the day as easy and wonderful for the bride as possible. Independence and cooperation are the keys to doing this. Get out of bed and ready to go early. Be sure to get to the hairdressers on time. If you don’t regularly wear makeup or go to a hairdresser, don’t complain or refuse to be made up. The truth is that makeup will make you look better in photos as will a hairstyle that coordinates with the other bridesmaids’.

Do everything you can to help the bride and maid of honor. Ask if they need anything, like water, a snack or Kleenex. The wedding day is a time of high emotions and often small details go astray, like the ring bearer’s pillow being left in the limo. If a teen notices something is being forgotten, speak up. Do anything you can to led moral support and make the day stress free for the bride.

When it comes to the ceremony, follow all the instructions that were given at the rehearsal and resist the urge to fool around or giggle. Take a deep breath, and when it’s your turn to walk down the aisle do it slowly.

Once the wedding is over, help gather up things like the unity candle and any stray possessions that the bride might forget. A teen bridesmaid can quickly scan the pews or chairs and gather any items that guest have left behind, such as cell phones or cameras. But don’t forget that you are expected to stand in the receiving line with the rest of the bridal party.

At the reception, a teen bridesmaid most often will sit with the other bridesmaids, though the bride may make other seating arrangements. The teen should take part in the formal parts of the reception, such as the toast, the bouquet toss and first-dance sequence, but after that she is free to socialize with other guests.

Above all a young bridesmaid should remember that whether the bride is a family member or a friend, don’t let wedding stress lead to petty arguments. Be understanding and forgiving. Weddings last one day, but the friendship between a bride and bridesmaid can last a lifetime.

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Read these Vermont Bride Featured Love Stories online! Love Story: Kellie (Goessinger) & JJ Oliver. Read the Love Story online here. Photo by Stoilov Studios, Vermont.
[Above] Sara (Forest) Sokolowski. Read the wedding Love Story online. Photo by Polis Photography.		[Above] Vyna Phuong Le and Phu Van Truong. Read the wedding Love Story online. Photo by RaidenShine Photography.

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