How To Write a TOAST: Making them Memorable

By Julie Subotky

Even if your oratory skills are less than spectacular, you may someday, somehow find yourself in a situation where you’ll have to make a toast.

And even though toasts are often personal, you can learn, with just a few basic skills, to write a toast for just about anyone and come off looking like a pro.

As someone who has planned after parties for Guns n’ Roses, organized charity events for the Mayor’s office, and catered to the every whim of celebrities and socialites alike, Consider it Done CEO Julie Subotky has also been hired to write a toast for a client to give to a bride at her wedding. In her book, CONSIDER IT DONE: Accomplish 228 of Life’s Trickiest Tasks (Three Rivers Press), Julie Subotky shares her lessons learned as the founder of her own personal concierge and lifestyle management company devoted to getting the seemingly simple but sometimes daunting tasks completed with success.  Following are her tips for making anyone a toastmaster! 

• IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU: The number one key to a successful toast it to make it about the person you are toasting. Don’t talk about yourself. It’s fine to let people in on some little secret, but if you’re going to include yourself in the story, you’d better make it something really funny or interesting. Honestly, no one cares about how much beer the two of you used to drink in college. Think of something great to say about the person, or keep your mouth quiet.


• KEEP IT TASTEFUL: Is the room full of family and aged relatives, or close childhood friends? The latter gives you a little more permission to tell all. Still, unless it’s a bachelor orbachelorette party, keep it PG, or at least PG-13. And though some teasing is fine, don’t go overboard. Nothing will make a bride madder than too many jokes at her or her beloved’s expense. Make sure you steer clear of humor involving sex, physical features, or any other areas that might offend. Jokes should be short and sweet, like the rest of your toast.


• BE BRIEF: This is perhaps the most important rule of toast writing. Whatever the occasion, you’re making people put their meals and conversations on hold while they listen to you, so once you cross the five-minute line, you’re in dangerous territory. Rehearse your toast beforehand and time yourself, keeping in mind that there will (hopefully) be pauses for laughter.  


• GET PERSONAL:  Start by jotting down a few key things about the person you are planning to toast. These should be personal, but not too personal (no embarrassing childhood anecdotes), and specific. The more you celebrate the person’s unique personality traits, the better.


• FOLLOW THE FORMULA: A good plan for success is this: introduction (briefly state who you are and your relationship to the person), joke, joke, a few heartfelt words (not too many—or you may come off as too heavy or corny, and you’ll lose the crowd), then raise a glass. And before you sit back down, don’t forget to acknowledge and thank the audience.


• ADD A TWIST: Remember, you can always do something out of the ordinary. Have the couple sit back-to-back. Have them remove their shoes and instruct them to keep one of their own shoes and hand their other shoe to the other person. You will then read a series of questions and have them vote by holding up the shoe. The shoe they hold up is who they are voting for. Questions can be anything you choose, for example: Who is a better dresser?  Who calls their mother more? Whose mother calls more? Keep it to five minutes, and then, end with the heartfelt words. This is a crowd-pleaser and a great way to get both bride and groom involved.
  

And finally, IT’S ALWAYS GOOD TO USE A QUOTE AND HAVE NOTES. But don’t write the whole toast out, or you’ll sound inauthentic and rehearsed. The key to writing a toast in advance is making it seem you like you didn’t.

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Look for the Julie Subotky book:
CONSIDER IT DONE: Accomplish 228 of Life’s Trickiest Tasks (Three Rivers Press; $15.00) by Julie Subotky.
Learn more at http://consideritdone.com/book/.

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