Why You Shouldn’t Use an E-vite for Your Wedding and Other Invitation No-No’s

By Colleen Kuerth

Photo courtesy Colleen Kuerth

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Do you really want your invitation to be filed away with spam?

The invention of the e-vite has done wonders for house parties and impromptu get-togethers, but the rising trend of using them for weddings makes me grimace in horror. I am not saying this because I make a living creating wedding invitations or because I love the idea of wasting paper, but the simple reason that it just seems tacky.

Here are the four main reasons I think invitations should remain tangible and delivered to your mailbox:

Great Aunt Mildred doesn’t have access to the Internet.

Even though it may seem to you that everyone is Internet savvy at this point, it is highly likely that at least one person on your guest list does not have Internet access in their home or even an e-mail address.

It makes people feel special to receive something in the mail.

If you are anything like me then receiving a handwritten envelope from a dear friend puts a smile on your face for the rest of the day. There is nothing like flipping through the junk mail and discovering a brightly colored jewel, hidden among the bills and fliers addressed to ‘Resident.’ Seeing your name in fanciful calligraphy makes you feel like someone cares about you and thinks you’re important. This is something I rarely feel when reading my e-mail.

This day in age everyone is plugged in, from Facebook to blogging it seems like life is lived more online than off. However, I believe that some things are better left on paper, and wedding invitations are one of those things.

I don’t know about you, but I receive twenty to thirty e-mails a day that are solicitations from companies, e-vites to events in my area, or e-newsletters I subscribe to, and they all look the same to me.

If you send your wedding invitation via e-mail chances are that it will get buried three pages deep in the recipient’s inbox and will get about as much attention as that sale e-blast from J. Crew. This is opposed to a paper invite which will more likely end up front and center on the fridge or message board in the entryway to be admired and looked at every day.

You can still save the environment.

There are so many options for recycled papers available in today’s market that trying to play the ‘environment’ card for e-vites is a moot point. Card stock, metallics, pocket folds––they are all available in environmentally friendly options, from 100 percent recycled to FSC certified there is an option to make anyone feel good about doing their part. Soy ink printing is even becoming widely available and is often no more expensive than traditional printing methods.

Aside from e-vites there are a few more tacky habits that the modern bride has picked up that I would like to address. The first I would like to acknowledge is the use of registry cards. It has become so commonplace for couples to register at their favorite store, yet they are often at a loss of how to communicate this information to their guests. The short answer is, you shouldn’t. Calling attention to your registry, whether it be a card accompanying your invitation or a link on your wedding website, is quite simply conveying an expectation for gifts.

Not only does this make your guests feel obligated to purchase you a gift, it can often guilt them into spending more than they would have or forgoing the handmade gift route because they feel pressured to get something off of your list. Yes, most of your guests will get you a gift, but you want it to be from their heart not because you gave them your registry code at Crate & Barrel. If someone asks you where you are registered that is the appropriate time to tell them. These things have a way of spreading, and those that want to know will seek the information out.

The final irksome item I would like to talk about is addressing envelopes. It has become apparent to me, after years of working with brides, that very few of them want to hand address their envelopes. This seems a shame, since I feel it is the most personal and intimate way to invite someone to your special day. Taking the time to sit down and carefully write out each of your guests’ addresses is a small touch that will have big impact in the long run. However, I do sympathize with those that do not feel their handwriting is nice enough to do the job.
You can always ask someone you know that has pretty handwriting to help you out in exchange for a nice home-cooked meal and a bottle of wine. If you don’t have a friend or parent that can help in this task, and you can’t afford hiring a calligrapher, then printing the addresses on the envelopes in a nice font is an acceptable alternative. Many stationers offer this service to invitation customers and most home printers are capable of printing on envelopes. You might have to play around with the settings to get it just right, but in the end it will be worth it.
It is the small details that will make your special day shine, and with a little bit of thoughtfulness and care you can ensure that everyone on your guest list will give your invitation the importance and respect it deserves.

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