
Throwing the Garter: a ritual dating back to before a woman wore panty hose with a garter belt. It was a chance for the single men to share in the good fortune of the groom. Today, it is believed that the man who catches the garter when it is thrown will be the next to marry. In the 14th century, it was customary for the bride to toss her garter to the men, but sometimes the men got too drunk and would become impatient. They would try to take the garter from the bride ahead of time so the bride would toss it and run away.
The Dollar Dance: a tradition which began in Poland, Hawaii and the Philippines. Guests had to pay to enjoy a dance with the bride or groom. The guests would pin dollar bills to the bride and grooms clothes or place it in a special pouch being worn by the bride and groom.
Tossing the Bouquet: this tradition hails from English roots and is believed that the bride could pass along good fortune to others. In order to obtain good fortune, spectators would try to tear away pieces of the brides clothing or flowers. In an attempt to escape, the bride would toss her bouquet into the crowd. Tradition says the woman who catches the bouquet is the one to receive the bride’s good fortune and the next to marry.
Good Fortune: there is an old Scottish belief where a bride shall be met at the door after the wedding ceremony by her mother. Her mother then breaks a currant bun over her daughter’s head to symbolize her daughter’s future good fortune.
Saw horsing: an ancient Italian tradition when the people in the village would set up a saw horse, a log, and a double handled saw. The newlyweds must saw the log apart with prompting and cheering from the crowd. When the job is finished and the log cut, it would symbolize the couple’s ability to work together in all of life’s future tasks.
Toasting: an ancient French custom of placing bread in the bottom of a glass – a good toaster drained the drink to get to the “toast.” According to legend, when a bride and groom drank their wedding toast, whoever finished first would then rule the family.
Bachelor Party: the last chance before the wife took over the finances for the groom to gather his friends and gamble for his own future use. Ancient Spartan soldiers were the first to hold stag parties. The groom would feast with his male friends the night before the wedding. There he would say good bye to his carefree days of bachelorhood and swear continued allegiance to his comrades. This was typically seen as the raucous party for the groom before he was to settle down with his new wife.
The wedding is one of life’s primeval and surprisingly unchanged rites of passage. There are so many different customs, superstitions and cultural beliefs that have carried on through the ages. That some of these barbaric rituals have not changed is unfortunate. Nearly all of the customs we observe today are merely echoes from the past. Do they need to be? What are the actual ties that bind so deeply the need for garter removal or dollar dancing?
Old world marriage customs continue to thrive today, in diluted, disguised and often upgraded forms. Take time to reflect upon some of these wedding customs and traditions. Do they reflect you as a woman; do they reflect you both as a couple forming a partnership? New traditions or variations which reflect your style will continue the slight altering of these named customary wedding rites of passage
Today, although the original understanding has been lost, we attempt to incorporate old world customs into our weddings.
We feel these are the rituals and traditions from the past which should be honored. Have these rituals been altered over time to no longer reflect the true meaning behind them? As you plan your wedding, take note of the single men or single women attending. Is there a point to throwing the bouquet or tossing the garter?
Creatively come up with something to replace these traditions of which you do not feel strongly about or just don’t blend in with your celebration. Instead of singling out the unattached men and women, invite everyone to the dance floor. Have a slow dance contest in which couples are eliminated for the length of time married. The winners, for instance married 50 years have a special chance to dance with the new bride and groom, offering them their secrets for long lasting love and marriage. Most recent brides and grooms have had an area at the reception to honor those from their families who could not be there to celebrate with them. Photos of family and mementos from past family times bring everyone a time of remembrance together.
Customs and tradition should be binding, in a loving family way.
Search yourselves for your most inner, personal beliefs and make those lasting traditions for you and your groom.
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