Your Wedding Story ...Remembered

By Amanda Kuhnert

Tell me about your wedding day.”

“Ghee ….” And then there’s often a long pause followed by a smattering of memories, like the name of the church or where the reception was held. When you’re in the midst of planning the most important day of your life, it’s hard to believe that one day, in the not-so-distant future, you may not be able to dig up too many details about the day you said “I do.” But I talk to men and women all the time who’ve had this happen to them. The wedding day memory card has been wiped clean.

Photo courtesy of Fourfold Legacy Services

Some of them have more vivid memories about their first day of grade school than they do about the day they got married. Why is this? I have my theories.

As a personal historian, my job is to help individuals and families tell their story — wedding stories, birth stories, even complete life stories. So it’s always interesting to me what events people remember — and what they don’t. Of all the life-story memories, wedding days are oftentimes the fuzziest 30, 40, or 50 years later.

Here’s what I think are the culprits:

Stress. There’s no denying it. Weddings can be stressful. And when the body and mind are tense, nothing really “sticks.” Studies show that even short-term stress affects memory. Ever had a hectic day at work, and you suddenly can’t remember where you put your car keys? Bingo.

Busyness. The days and weeks leading up to your wedding are a little hectic, to say the least. Serious wedding planning is not for the faint of heart. And when you’re super busy, you can’t absorb what’s going on around you.

Momentary thoughts and reflections are quickly replaced by another urgent matter on the to-do list. The memory bank is full.

Emotions. A lot of women describe themselves as being “in a fog” on their wedding day. Not in a bad way. Just in a surreal kind of way. Ever woken up after an intense dream, and five minutes later can’t remember it? I think wedding days can be like that.

To keep wedding day amnesia from happening to you, it’s important to take a “time out” to reflect and absorb the experience.

It’s extremely powerful when a couple sits down together to tell their unique love story. What a gift amidst the hoopla of wedding planning to take some time to share with one another — and friends and family — the events, emotions, and thoughts that led up to this special day. When a couple celebrating their 40th or 50th anniversary struggles to remember even the most general details of their engagement and wedding, they feel frustrated.

Sometimes photos can help retrieve lost memories, but images only tell part of the story. It’s not just what happened that we want to remember — it’s how we felt during the experience.

Because of the memory loss that I often encounter in my work, I spend a lot of time thinking about the importance of capturing our memories while they’re fresh in our minds — while we’re still knee-deep in the experience — instead of trying to resurrect them years down the road. When you record your wedding story, you’re literally preserving the present for the future.

Getting married is a life-changing event, and only you can put that experience into words.

Even if your love story has just begun, it’s not too early to begin thinking about how you’re going to keep the memories alive for a lifetime

Fourfold Legacy Services helps couples tell their love stories in their own words through digitally-recorded interviews that are edited and preserved on archival CDs, complete with music and a customized presentation case.

Here’s how it works:

Your Wedding Story project begins with a questionnaire completed by you, your fiancé, and any other friends or family who will be taking part in the process. I will use the information gathered in the questionnaires to create customized interview questions designed to help you recount your love story.

Shortly before your wedding day, we’ll schedule a time to sit down together for a short interview. I will talk with you and your fiancé separately and then as a couple to piece together the story of your relationship.

We’ll talk about how you met, what you did on your first date, how he proposed, and some of the wedding planning highlights. And, of course, you’ll each have an opportunity to share any special messages and thoughts about the future. Loved ones are welcome to participate, as well.

Your interviews will be edited for ease-of-listening and the incorporation of musical transitions. In the end, your love story will be preserved on archival CDs to be shared with friends and family and enjoyed for anniversaries to come.

Other variations are also possible, including using photography to create a love-story slide show to accompany the audio interview.

Information: www.fourfoldlegacy.com, 802-371-9777

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